Get a Clue

I have been a Mommy for a month now. Throughout this time, I've come to realize that from time to time, I try to fit "the mold" of what people expect a mother to be. Well, I'm just here to say: get a fucking clue.

Mmkay, so it seems like everyone has this image stuck in their head of a mother being like Mrs. Cleaver, wearing clean, pressed dresses every day, hair coiffed, makeup perfect, polite and kind, smelling good and being able to fix any problem by dinner time (with dinner of course being some elaborate spread she's slaved in the kitchen all day making). Well I'm just gonna say, that's not reality for the majority of women anyway, and damn sure not for me. Most women nowadays are putting in 40+ hour work weeks, going to school, and who knows what else. We're successful. Being successful equals messier hair, simple or no makeup, and the occasional wrinkle in our shirt. Well, I get to stay at home all day and get puked on by the Spawn, so I don't quite fall into this category.

If anyone has known me for any significant amount of time, there are a few things they can probably tell you about me. Some are obvious. Some become obvious very quickly after coming around me. I have a lot of tattoos, my hair changes color often, I smoke too much, I drink a lot, and I have a dirty, filthy mouth. Most of the time, these things are coupled with an "IDGAF" attitude. Not always. Just depends on how dense you are.

I'm just going to get straight to the point, because I don't feel like typing about this for ten hours straight: I'm not a bad mother because I say the word "fuck". Sure, chock it up to inexperience, or me being "too young". I'm pretty sure I'll still be using four-letter words when I'm 35, when I'm 60, and probably on my death bed. Words are just that: words. Random assortments of the alphabet that someone decided could be offensive and "bad". GET OVER IT. I SAY A LOT OF BAD WORDS. If that makes me seem immature to you, so be it. You obviously don't know what I'm capable of. I'm not like every single other knocked up 19 year old girl. Just watch that Teen Mom show once, it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Then sit and actually break my mind open. You'll realize that not every 19 year old kid is what Hollywood makes us out to be. *SOME* of us are capable of incredible, fantastic things. We just say dirty words to piss everyone off.

How this concerns me? I don't always wear super nice clothes. Sometimes (most of the time) my hair looks jacked, and my makeup is less than flattering. My nails are always peeling. If I paint them, they're chipped within the day. I spit a lot. None of these things make someone a bad parent. What makes someone a good parent is unconditional love for their little ball of drool. Patience. Understanding. Selflessness. Sitting for hours just soaking up every moment they can, because they know they'll never get it back. Your pressed khakis don't make you better than me. Sitting in the floor with books, practically reading to yourself  because the kid is still too small to really understand, but doing it anyway because it lets them hear your voice? That makes you awesome. It takes a lot of work, but it's nothing like your 9-5 job. It comes naturally, spread out over the course of the days and months and years that your child is in your life. The fact that I realize that, I think, puts me far ahead of the competition.

There is a time and a place for everything. Obviously, I'm not going to make "shit" Lilla's first word. I'm not gonna get falling down drunk in front of my kid to set an example. But being a parent does NOT mean that life stops. I hate it when people say that. It just depends on how you make your life work around your children - not your children work around your life. They should always come first, first, first. Then, once in a while, you can go out with your friends, say shitfuckcuntdamnscrew, and have one too many before you sleep it off and go back to being Superparent the next day.

Get real.