Okay, I'm just gonna cut straight to the point: I can't think of anywhere I would rather be in my life right now. There are several things that could have gone differently, and I could be on one of many other paths - good and bad. This is the best place I can fathom in my pretty little head right now. Being married to the military is, in NO way, simple or easy or fun all the time. There have been days that I really wished I could just not have to be myself anymore, countless nights that sleep would elude me, and I've had tantrums that rival the brattiest 2-year-olds, smack dab in the middle of the hospital or other inappropriate public place or even my bedroom over missed phone calls (and I'm just starting out - I can't imagine how I'll be after 3 years!).
However, I choose to not dwell on these days, like so many others may. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, who is a brave and strong man with a beautiful smile and some seriously gorgeous eyes. I have a daughter on the way that I know is just going to be the biggest joy in my life and I cannot wait to meet her. But maybe one of the most incredible things I've witnessed in the past 3 months is all the excitement that has happened around me. The women I have met that are living the same thing as me, be it other wives, girlfriends, fiancées, mothers, sisters, or in-laws, have been the only source of sanity I could seriously rely on every day. We've all melted down together and built each other back up. We've bitched, moaned, cried, cursed, laughed, danced, sang, screamed, and sometimes just listened, never leaving each others' virtual sides. There is a connection between us that is second to none. It can never really be understood by someone standing outside the bounds of the lives we lead, although we would never place ourselves above those who are not in the same boat as us. We are our own little family, though. There's this bond that I can't even begin to describe. And although we have shared several difficult days, the awesome days are the ones that will forever be burnt into my memory. I get to share in so much excitement with these girls. I take it as a serious privilege that I get to participate in their moments of joy. There are babies born, homecomings, engagements and weddings, reunions - you name it, we get it. There are days that are just like one big party, where something ridiculously exciting happens for just about everyone (these days are called "Sundays", because they typically get to call home then). But no, in all reality, it's something that I hope doesn't get taken for granted by too many of us. There is so much endured on both sides of things, and I'd almost guarantee you that none of us girls are going through HALF the stuff these guys are going through. However, we serve in a different way. Call it cheesy, but it's truer than some people may ever know. For all the days filled with tears and heartache, they are countered by the days that I see photos of smiling faces when a family reunites with their Soldier, or a guy on one knee in his ACU's proposing to the girl of his dreams. There is no better feeling to me. The strength that I see in these women is absolutely incredible, and it keeps me going day by day. I couldn't be happier when I see them glowing next to their Soldiers. You can feel the pride radiating off the screen. It's an awesome thing to be part of.
There are all kinds of things people could say about the life I've chosen to live, or how I've decided to do things. I'm aware of them all. Ignorance is bliss, though, and assumptions don't get you very far, either. I chose to make things the way they are. Nothing happened by accident, and there was nothing to force me into the actions I've taken. I love, love, LOVE my life. I'm not too young. I'm not stupid or naive. Every decision my husband and I made was made together, after much discussion and compromise from both of us. This is where you begin see how age does not equal maturity, and young does not equal incapable. I tend to find the exact opposite! I would not change a single thing. It's all in how you decide to handle the things that life hands you. And I choose to stay on the positive side of things, always. I feel it gets me a lot further and annoys fewer people (if there is ONE thing I could rant about for days on end, it would be people - especially women - that know how to do nothing but whine and seek pity). Not to mention, the days go by faster when you are happy, so it really shortens the time between now and when I'll see my husband again, right? Right. Which, as of now, is a span of 11 days! And then, he'll be snoring next to me once again, and everything will be as it should be. There is no better life than this. :)
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