Stevie G's Tips For Moms-To-Be

I figured I'd take a more lighthearted approach to my post this time. I have a few friends who are on the verge of having some babies, so I'm gonna give y'all MY personal advice for what to do to soak up this experience. Now remember...it's me we're talking about here.

BEFORE HAVING THE BABY

- Everyone will tell you to sleep now while you can. They never spoke truer words to you. Don't overdo yourself now. You'll soon fondly remember the nights that you may have caught 4 hours of sleep without waking up to pee or feed a screaming child.

- Ask for the big things on your registry. Bouncers, swings, stroller/car seat combos (don't get cheated out of that piece of heaven). Be very explicit that you DON'T NEED A YEAR'S WORTH OF NEWBORN CLOTHES. They really do outgrow them in a month. Unless you plan on changing your kid 8 times a day so they can wear all those clothes, it's unnecessary. And ask for LOTS of diapers...newborn size, and then the next size up.

-  Do everything you can to keep your head level. You only THINK you're stressed now.

- Seriously, take advantage of your nesting instincts. "Cleaning" will quickly become a four letter word for you when you're pulling your hair out over your baby. If you're like me and don't know much about birthin no babies, you're gonna want to veg out for the first few weeks and figure that kid out.

- Have someone there that can HELP you with things like cooking meals and doing your laundry for you. All that will come in time.

- Back to registries: I would recommend asking for Moby wraps or sleeper sacks. You'll hate your life if you have to lug a car seat everywhere. Keeping the baby on you is so much more convenient.

LABOR AND BRINGING THE BABY HOME

- Don't be a hero. If you're about going without pain meds, I completely support your decision. I went in with that mindset. But let me make this point: there is no need to stress yourself and the baby out because you are trying to put yourself through excruciating pain to prove something...to who? They made epidurals and Stadol for a reason. SHIT HURTS.

- Don't expect your boyfriend/husband to be much support. I know the shows on tv show husbands helping their wives through the whole thing. They're also over 30 and already have other kids. Young guys are bad at that concept. Adjust now.

- Don't be fooled into thinking your baby will stay as quiet as they are for the first two days. They're sneaky snakes.

- ASK FOR SOCKS. Oh man, I know at least for me they gave me the Pillow Paws socks with the grippies on the bottom. I'm wearing them right now. Steal those suckers. Best decision I ever made.

- Make your own decisions about how to feed your baby. If you plan to formula feed, stick to your guns. It's your decision. Don't let people make you feel guilty for how you raise your kid. They'll do that...it's your baby, you raise it how you see fit.

- Make an extra bottle before bed. You'll love this piece of advice at 2 am when you don't have to take the extra time to make it then. Quiet babies are lovely babies at night.

- Don't try to be Supermom. If your house gets a little messy, dinner isn't made every night, laundry piles up a bit, trust me, IT'S OKAY. Men have a warped idea of what you should be capable of at first. Tell them to shove it. I say you have one month of leeway. After that, you should be more used to your baby, and then you really should pick up the pace again. Otherwise you'll become sedentary and it gets ugly from there.

- Ask for help if you need it. Your baby can tell if you're stressed, and it isn't good for either of you. Like I said, veg when you can for the first week or two. Having someone around to lighten the load will do wonders for keeping you out of that "psycho new mom" stereotype.

That's it for now. Just some friendly reminders for the first month of trying to learn your new little ball of drool. Just be full of love and patience. The little baby is learning right along with you. :)

One Day At A Time

Well, I think I might have finally figured out this mobile blogging thing. Maybe. I guess if you're reading this, then it means I have. I've been out of commission lately since my computer decided to self-destruct. But, I can assure you, plenty has been going on. Of course, most of you know I now have a two month old daughter, who just so happens to be the light of my life. She's wiggling around on my chest as I type. She's getting feistier every day, and her personality is definitely starting to shine through. Talk about a good baby, though.

Otherwise, things are starting to look up for us. I guess living this life has taken a bit of a toll on our young marriage. When my husband got back from basic, I knew he had changed. I guess I didn't realize, or didn't want to realize, just how much. Of course, I'd done my fair share of changing as well, but not in nearly the same way. I think he had been away for so long from the way things were with me, that coming back and having a very pregnant wife and looming PCS was a bit of a shocker. Things got real super quick. Since then, honestly, we have struggled to keep it together. We have dealt with infidelity, insecurity, lying, childishness. You name it, we've done it. And it's been both of us, not just one or the other.

As soon as I had Lilla, things seemed to get exponentially better between us, which I didn't expect. But that only lasted for a little while. The usual stresses obviously set in. Luckily I've had my father steadfast by my side, who has been a tremendous help. Without him, I'd be in a much worse way. But Daddy can only come to the rescue so much. At some point, we have to deal with our issues on our own. The past 5 months have been an incredible roller coaster of emotions and have pushed us to our limits emotionally and every other way. It's almost sent me back to Florida, more than once.

What we have both come to realize is that we have a terrible time communicating honestly with each other. I don't feel that I can communicate my needs to him and be taken seriously. He feels like he shouldn't communicate most of his needs to me, because "men don't do that". There's a lot more to it, but that's the basic idea.

To keep from boring you to death, here's my basic idea for the day: if you're married to the military, or you're a married/committed servicemember, TALK. Be able to talk to each other. If you don't feel able to, you aren't going to be successful in your endeavors or your relationship. When you and someone you love are part of this life, sometimes you're all the other person has. You're taken miles away from everything that's familiar, and expected to simply carry on as if nothing has changed. Your partner in life is supposed to be someone you can confide in, trust, and tell things to that you wouldn't trust to anyone else. Go to a counselor if you need help sorting out your frustrations, etc. and can't do that on your own. There's nothing wrong with it. The stigma of counseling being for people that "have something wrong with them" needs to be thrown out the window. Don't give up just because things get ridiculously hard at times. If it wasn't about this, there'd be something else in life that would be extremely trying at some point.

Case and point, I'm doing everything I can to improve my marriage for the sake of our daughter, and because I love my husband to the ends of the Universe and back. Don't let the stresses eat at you until you feel hopeless. Talk to someone outside the situation, whether it be a trusted friend, family member, or a therapist if the situation calls for it.

One day, you'll be able to look back and laugh.