One Day At A Time

Well, I think I might have finally figured out this mobile blogging thing. Maybe. I guess if you're reading this, then it means I have. I've been out of commission lately since my computer decided to self-destruct. But, I can assure you, plenty has been going on. Of course, most of you know I now have a two month old daughter, who just so happens to be the light of my life. She's wiggling around on my chest as I type. She's getting feistier every day, and her personality is definitely starting to shine through. Talk about a good baby, though.

Otherwise, things are starting to look up for us. I guess living this life has taken a bit of a toll on our young marriage. When my husband got back from basic, I knew he had changed. I guess I didn't realize, or didn't want to realize, just how much. Of course, I'd done my fair share of changing as well, but not in nearly the same way. I think he had been away for so long from the way things were with me, that coming back and having a very pregnant wife and looming PCS was a bit of a shocker. Things got real super quick. Since then, honestly, we have struggled to keep it together. We have dealt with infidelity, insecurity, lying, childishness. You name it, we've done it. And it's been both of us, not just one or the other.

As soon as I had Lilla, things seemed to get exponentially better between us, which I didn't expect. But that only lasted for a little while. The usual stresses obviously set in. Luckily I've had my father steadfast by my side, who has been a tremendous help. Without him, I'd be in a much worse way. But Daddy can only come to the rescue so much. At some point, we have to deal with our issues on our own. The past 5 months have been an incredible roller coaster of emotions and have pushed us to our limits emotionally and every other way. It's almost sent me back to Florida, more than once.

What we have both come to realize is that we have a terrible time communicating honestly with each other. I don't feel that I can communicate my needs to him and be taken seriously. He feels like he shouldn't communicate most of his needs to me, because "men don't do that". There's a lot more to it, but that's the basic idea.

To keep from boring you to death, here's my basic idea for the day: if you're married to the military, or you're a married/committed servicemember, TALK. Be able to talk to each other. If you don't feel able to, you aren't going to be successful in your endeavors or your relationship. When you and someone you love are part of this life, sometimes you're all the other person has. You're taken miles away from everything that's familiar, and expected to simply carry on as if nothing has changed. Your partner in life is supposed to be someone you can confide in, trust, and tell things to that you wouldn't trust to anyone else. Go to a counselor if you need help sorting out your frustrations, etc. and can't do that on your own. There's nothing wrong with it. The stigma of counseling being for people that "have something wrong with them" needs to be thrown out the window. Don't give up just because things get ridiculously hard at times. If it wasn't about this, there'd be something else in life that would be extremely trying at some point.

Case and point, I'm doing everything I can to improve my marriage for the sake of our daughter, and because I love my husband to the ends of the Universe and back. Don't let the stresses eat at you until you feel hopeless. Talk to someone outside the situation, whether it be a trusted friend, family member, or a therapist if the situation calls for it.

One day, you'll be able to look back and laugh.