What Women Really Want

Believe it or not, it's not "for a guy to be a complete asshole 24/7". TURN OFF.

Building on a few conversations here and there with my best friend, this is what I've derived (so far) concerning what women really want.

• Smile. There's nothing more attractive and comforting than a shining, toothy grin.
• Hugs. Good ones, and don't make us ask for them. They're a hot commodity and are reassuring.
• Surprises. Small, simple, unexpected changes in the routine are fantastic. Go to the dollar store and buy some candles, bust out the fancy china (i.e. anything that ISN'T a paper plate), and make a simple dinner. Make it like a fancy date night, but at home. That's a wonderful way to make a girl like you a whooole lot more.
• Romance. Dance with us under the stars with no music, or just in the living room to some mushy love song. It melts us. THIS IS A BIG DEAL and it makes us say nice things to our friends about you.
• Hard work. A man that works hard and takes pride in what he does is so, so sexy. Yeah, a job is a job, and hardly any of us LOVE what we do, but seriously, don't come home and bitch about it every night. If we wanted to hear another chick bitch about working, we'd call our friends up. Plus, we love a rugged man. ;)
• Dinner dates. We looove to be wined & dined. Well, not all of us can drink legally yet, but take us out for some iced tea and a nice t-bone steak. It's a nice break from the monotony.
• Girls' days. Sacrifice your Saturday afternoon and beer money to send us to get our hair done or our nails did once in a while. I'm the first chick to say that I don't expect a man to pay for this crap every 2-3 weeks, but once in a while, SPOIL US.
• Listen. I know this is a hard one, especially when we whine. My recommendation is that you suck it up and don't change the subject to a similar experience you've recently had and start whining yourself. Follow the advice you always see in the movies: smile, nod, and interject an "I understand" or "how do you feel about that?" every once in a while.
• Compliments. Ooh doggy, this is a good one, probably should've been on top of the list. Compliment us on how we look, particularly when you can see that we've put effort into looking good for you. Examples of this are: doing our hair a different way, doing our makeup, putting on a bra and getting out of our pajamas. Maybe not so much that we begin to expect it, but when you unexpectedly say "you look so beautiful, baby," it's a win win situation.
• Be witty. THIS DOES NOT MEAN BE AN ASSHOLE. We like it when you can make smartass comments about things other than what's important to us.
• Support us. When we tell you about a major goal or plan we have, don't shoot us out of the air. Ask us for details, tell us ways to improve on our ideas, and be positive about it. Even if you're just pretending.
• Communicate. Talking is a huge thing. Understanding is a huge thing. Not blowing your top off in a difficult situation is a HUGE THING. When you start doing that, we lose confidence in being able to turn to you in hard times. Learn how you communicate most effectively. In sticky situations, take a break and come back with a positive, reassuring attitude.
• Remember. Important dates, your anniversary, her dog's birthday - they all matter. Take 5 minutes and pick up a card and some flowers. And to touch again on the listening thing, when she tells you she "really wants ___" for her birthday, or she'd "really love to do ___", write it down on a sticky note and put it in your wallet for Christ's sake. IT MATTERS.

So, this is all I have to say now. This doesn't apply to all broads, cause some bro hoes just really aren't romantic at all. For the hopeless romantics, however, following this list might bring you some success.

:)

Childish Is As Childish Does

I'm sick and tired of bullshit. There's no other way to put it. I'm tired of everyone's bullshit - even my own. I don't know who I am anymore, or what I'm doing. My life cannot remain stress-free for more than a week at a time, be it the fault of someone else or my own damn fault (and it seems that more often than not lately, I'm stirring shit that shouldn't be stirred). I used to pride myself on not being a jealous person, slow to judge, loving to everyone, and an open-minded, warm, welcoming person to be around. Now, I'm cynical, I'm angry, I jump to conclusions with no safety net to catch me - and every time, that sudden stop at the bottom hurts more than anything. I'm creating a havoc in my life that I'm slowly losing control over, and I don't know how much longer I can expect this to continue without serious repercussions. It's taking a huge emotional toll on me. I am in a constant personal state of turmoil, which makes me and everyone else around me miserable.

Now, I don't think that all my madness is unwarranted. I think that given past transgressions against me, it would be impossible for me to continue in the way that I used to be, at least at this point in time. My issue is that I can no longer let anything go - I've let myself become so hurt and hardened over every single thing that's happened, that when some insignificant bump arises in my life, I make it into a problem that is way bigger than it ever should've been (and therefore MUCH more difficult to overcome).

I'm not handling this life as well as I originally intended to - then again, who ever really does? This situation was more or less thrown upon both my husband and me, and neither of us has shown any great deal of maturity, professionalism, or progress concerning it. Neither of us has been successful in handling this well. The biggest concern that I will always have is that Lilla is well provided for, and that she sees happy, loving, productive parents setting a fantastic example for her. We aren't doing well at that. I don't know what to do for myself anymore - I am the only person that can change me, and I am the only person that I can expect to change. I really need to do a lot of work on myself. I'm just so disappointed that it's ever come to this, and that I ever let myself change in these ways.

You live and you learn.